The Exorcism

As mentioned in previous postings, I grew up in a rather strict religious household. Or did for the latter half of my upbringing anyway. The point of speaking on this topic is not to whine or complain, but rather to speak out on what I have seen and experienced first-hand of the ‘Spiritual Warfare’ techniques being utilized by the tribes of Evangelicals and other demiurgic ilk in our current day, and to do so for the benefit of fellow occult practitioners.


Spiritual Warfare essentially teaches that there is a strict black and white divide in the spiritual realm. And spirits are everywhere, in people, in objects, in places. Everywhere. All spirits of any sort are aligned with either God or Satan. Who are supposedly at war. (Which all seems very Zoroastrian in essence to me, but they’ll never admit it.) And once aligned they work to further one agenda or the other, knowingly or not. That’s very important to remember as this goes for both spirits and people. According to them, your ignorance doesn’t matter. The spirits can influence you and thus influence events through you, even without your knowledge or consent. They subsequently view the afflicted as both a victim of and  an agent of the spirits working through them, making it necessary to treat them accordingly.

The church we were to attend was Pentecostal. The name of the denomination is taken from the event of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit was said have descended upon the disciples of Christ. This act supposedly provided them abilities, like speaking in tongues, prophecy, and the casting out of spirits. Due to this descending of the spirit onto human disciples Pentecostals believe that there is no need for a priesthood to act as an intermediary between humans and god. They believe every person has the ability to have their own personal relationship with god and to invoke god directly.

For those who may be unfamiliar, Pentecostals are the types who like to dance and run in circles around the congregation. They’ll stand up in prophecy then promptly collapse in a fit that from the outside looks a lot like a seizure. When they act like this it is because they say the “spirit” is coming upon them. They believe that the essence/spirit of ‘God’ is descending on them as it supposedly had descended upon the disciples. This sudden perspective shift also grants them the ability to speak in tongues, speak prophecy and revelations of their own, and  gives them an air of great confidence when they claim to have the gift of spiritual discernment then subsequently “cast out” or exorcise entities at their will. (Something of note: this has also been directed in a macro-cosmic fashion to cast out spirits supposedly residing in political parties, government officials, and elected members of office. As well as to support prayer-events where entire congregations pool their energy together to pray and work themselves up for certain political or foreign policies they find in line with their specific reading of scripture.)

They would typically cast out spirits of addiction, of depression, of cancer, and even spirits of issues like poverty. Sometimes they would cast out things like atheism and doubt. Other times they would simply cast out Satan, or the ‘Devil and his Legions’. They would cast out all Spirits under His power, and all influence they held over anyone within the walls of the church or the sphere they were praying for. As someone who already inwardly and privately identified herself as a Satanist, I was pretty sure they were full of shit. But as 15 year old kid I had to wonder, could it work?


All of this Pentecostal/Spiritual Warfare stuff had become an obsession to my mother by 2002-2003. She prayed late into the night. She’d walk up and down the hallway speaking in tongues or come bursting into my room in the middle of night spewing some “prophecy” and gibberish. Other times she burst through the door in a violent rage, bee-lining to a drawer or corner of my closet, stating ‘God’ had shown her where I was hiding books, or ritual paraphernalia, or tarot, or for fucks sake even tea leaves. Generally she was looking in the wrong place and in my anger at being woken up like that I found myself stifling smug giggles at her stupidity.

Occasionally in her paranoid fits she did find things though. CD’s, my book on making demonic pacts, the beginnings of a notebook of autonomic writing and attempts at spiritual correspondence (mostly encoded thankfully)…

I’m not sure which of these was the final straw, but one night she started in before I even went to bed. And it looked like it might be a long one. She wasn’t accepting silence. She wasn’t accepting my attempts at uninterested teenage shrugs. She wasn’t accepting my normal avenues of shutting the conversation down. She was convinced, utterly convinced, that I was bringing evil spirits into the house. This suspicion had been ongoing which is why she would look through my things in the first place. She claimed she felt evil spirits in them.

Up until this point I’d had her pretty convinced that I was simply disinterested in any religious practices at all. She could at least logically understand a teenager entertaining atheist thoughts, even if they weren’t accepted, much easier than she could understand someone dabbling with magic and spirits. But not that night, that night she turned on me. I was no longer her daughter but the enemy. She determined that whether it had occurred by my intent or due to my stupid curiosity, it didn’t matter. I was a danger to the household and thus needed to be exorcised.

I thought she was kidding at first. Bluffing maybe. Even if she wasn’t, by the time we got to church and she talked this all through with the Pastor, she’d calm down and feel like an idiot I figured. But she had no intention of involving the Pastor or even any other members of the congregation. This was an embarrassment she told me, and one that she would handle herself. Before I knew it she flew into a rage, pinning me to the chair I was sitting in while she easily had over a hundred pounds on me at the time. For roughly the next hour she held me down, screaming, slapping, and slamming me around in an attempt to cast out whatever she said I was bringing into the house. At some point in the midst of it her wording changed and she began invoking her God by a specific name, the name of ‘Yahweh’. (Which at the time didn’t mean much, but has since revealed itself as potentially meaningful.) And then to my panic, she began asking him for assistance in casting out ‘the Devil and Satan’ specifically.

I’d like to say I kept trying to laugh her off even at this point, and to my credit I did maintain the ability to do so outwardly through the duration of the event. I never did anything but deny it all and call her crazy. But inwardly? Not a chance. Inwardly I was a 15 year old kid suddenly terrified that this insane zealot would find a way to cut off my pact. It seemed to follow that would then cut off any tie I had to the spiritual at all, since they saw it all as so evil.

By this age I had already developed my own methods of “clearing the air” and purifying against the god of her church when need be, but I couldn’t even move my arms with her holding me down. I mentally and emotionally went inward and called out in that way, half in a call for aid and half in a call of warning. I fought tears knowing full well there was nothing I could do to stop this but wondering if I’d be held responsible by the Spirit I’d made a pact with regardless.

As this continued the tension in the air was becoming palpable. The pain in my neck and head was unbearable from her pushing down on me and from being slammed around. A migraine set in and my stomach kept rolling with nausea, the pressure in my head only making it worse by the minute. I felt like I might pass out from it all and continued my inward and seemingly pointless call for help.

Surprisingly, not long after I resigned myself to just trying to survive this event her fit came to an abrupt stop. It had been edging up to a fever pitch when she had a sudden vision and fell back, releasing me in the process. She looked stunned while backing away into the nearby wall.

“What was that? That gate? What the hell was that? What did you do?”

Clearly, I had no way of knowing what she was seeing or imagining in her worked up mind so I just continued to look at her like she was insane, no less stunned than she was at this turn of events. She claimed she saw a gate slam against her but I had no idea what she was referring to.Whatever it was, it spooked her because the tension in the room immediately dissipated. She seemed to realize things had gotten out of hand and started straightening herself up, shaking her head a bit as if to clear it. Then she stated hollowly that this had been for my own good and left to her room for the night. The next day it wasn’t mentioned and the event was never spoken of between the two of us again.


On my end, another few months passed before I had the courage to try contacting the Spirit I’d made a pact with again. This was partially due to just being afraid to “show my face”. After all, had I hidden my things better this might not have occurred. Perhaps that was my mistake and one He wouldn’t tolerate. (How the hell would I know?) I was so shaken from what happened that I didn’t think I could handle knowing if I had been written off for good yet. The rest of the hesitation came from a fear that it might have worked, that my mother had somehow encircled me in the energies of the being she was calling on. If that were true, then I was potentially a danger to everything I wished to work with, wasn’t I? So not knowing what else to do, I kept to myself.

At the time I was just thankful it was over and that the situation had ended when it did, before there had been any permanent physical harm or anything of the like. Back then it didn’t even occur to me to think that maybe something had aided me after all given the abrupt stop when she backed away. I just continued on in silent limbo for a long while. From what I can recall, it was simply the isolation of it all that led me to try making contact again eventually. Much to my relief, once that connection was re-established it was as if not a single beat had been missed and I slipped right back into where I’d left off with my adolescent theories and beginner attempts at ritual.

Rather than dwelling on it or trying to make sense of something that likely had no sense behind it, I chalked the whole terrible experience up to a momentary lapse of sanity in my mother that at the end of the day only took a little over an hour out of my life. By that metric it was meaningless, so I erased it from mind. That is, until the last few years when it started bubbling back up to the surface of my memory in response to spiritual endeavors of my own. Through processing these experiences I have looked back to see that magical techniques were in fact being used (though she and her congregation would never know it, let alone admit it).

It became apparent that perhaps speaking on this experience could be an exorcism of sorts in its own right. (After all, is that not what the first telling of a traumatic experience is, psychologically speaking?). But more importantly this act could also double as an avenue to get information on the Spiritual Warfare techniques being used today into the hands of those who it is being worked against. These practices are not necessarily mainstream, even within Christian/Evangelical circles, so the chances that someone entirely outside of those spheres (like say, an occultist) would be well versed in the attacks being lobbed against them would be incredibly small.

As such it is my hope that the above information finds its way into the hands of any fellow practitioners who might benefit from ‘knowing thy enemy’.


Devil Worshiper

Very few phrases can cause such a visceral reaction in people. Even today, in 2015, where the world in general is quite secular. Atheism, at least in the west is viewed by many as the philosophy of logical people. Theism is a dying perspective, primarily due to the utter failing of the mainstream religions to be of much use whatsoever. But even so, the accusation of being a devil worshiper is still the first thing people distance themselves from.

When someone comes out of the “broom closet” and announces themselves as a Wiccan, Pagan, or any other fringe religious group, what do they almost always follow that statement up with? “But…I DO NOT WORSHIP THE DEVIL!”

I find myself laughing along in agreement with Keith Nicholson’s sentiment in “Above Below Within: Planetary Magick and the Greek Gods” (pg.35);

Neo-pagans will fight their way to the head of the trough for any possible information that removes validity to Christianity. Such examples might be: Jesus was a pagan construct; Horus was a predecessor; and so forth. However, when their own gods are examined, they cry in unison, “Foul!” More importantly, they’ll proclaim defiantly that Satan (and the devil) does not exist in their pantheons of gods. However, they’ll call on any other god-form they desire, even if not in their own pantheon, except of course, Satan or the devil. Hypocrisy!

Fundamentalist churches often preach that atheists are actually devil worshipers, which of course is utterly idiotic and laughable. But they preach it regularly. It is stated as a matter of fact. I know this because I was raised in a very fundamentalist minded Pentacostal church and I heard it frequently. They still hold to the monotheistic ideas so strongly that anything not in agreement with their god is of the Devil. Period. And this, of course is said to discredit atheists and to try and paint them as incapable. “Well, Jane Doe can’t know what she’s talking about, and she certainly can’t be trusted. We can’t vote her into office, she’s an atheist, clearly she’s being influenced by Satan.” You might think I’m joking, but sadly I’m not.

In a youth group I was made to attend as a teen, there were a few times where the leaders would “lay hands” on an atheist minded kid, and they would pray to cast out the devils and demons who they thought were causing the person’s doubt and skepticism. It was less dramatic, but very similar to the more intense versions of this practice which they do to those who might be plagued with addiction, depression, or illness, on those silly Televangelist shows. (To give this church some credit, they saved all that stuff for the adult services at least.) There were actually deacons who were designated to stand around with sheets, ready to rush over and cover women who might have a “wardrobe malfunction” when they would collapse, or “fall out” in the “holy-spirit” while having demons cast out of them in their Sunday dresses.

This is how I came to originally align myself with Satanism. It was my breaking away from the Christian perspective in the only way I knew how at the time. So at thirteen, while following Faust’s lead, I wrote up a pact, lit a candle, drew a bit of blood, and called on the Devil. It was not scholarly or well informed. It was honestly that simple.  And to this day, as someone who has now studied, at least to some degree, most of the worlds various religions, spiritualities, and magickal practices,  I will still stand here and say;

I worship the Devil, and I stand in league with Satan. 


The funny thing is, this statement is controversial even among the majority of Satanists and Left Hand Path practitioners as well. Which, I can understand to a point. The archetype of Satan is the one who does not bow. And Satanism in general is a philosophy that respects free will, self determination, and strength. So to many “worship” appears as an anti-thesis of these ideas.

I disagree.

At the risk of sounding like a grade-schooler, I think this is a term that the definition is worth taking another look at. So according to Webster there is a simple definition as well as a full definition;

Simple Definition of worship

  • the act of showing respect and love for a god especially by praying with other people who believe in the same god : the act of worshipping God or a god

  • : excessive admiration for someone

Full Definition of worship

  1. chiefly British :  a person of importance —used as a title for various officials (as magistrates and some mayors)

  2.   reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power; also :  an act of expressing such reverence

It seems clear to me that the simple definition is nothing more than the connotations conjured up by this word. Excessive admiration is not a smart move, ever. To place anyone, human or divine, on a pedestal is dangerous, and often a mistake. That is not what I mean when I say worship.

I hold to the full definition above. I see the Deity I worship as a being of importance. I see Him as both a natural and divine being, as well as a supernatural power (or essence). I express my reverence and veneration to this Deity through my rituals, and by having the utmost respect for Him, until/unless such respect is no longer warranted or deserved. As of today that has not occurred. In fact what began as respect has turned more into a profound awe. But even still, I do not bow, I do not grovel, and I do not beg. Such acts would be disrespectful to everything Satan or Satanism represents. I fully expect that if I went to my altar, got on my knees, and pleaded tearfully for favors that I’d get a well deserved anti-cosmic kick in the ass, and told to get some damn respect for myself before wasting His time again.

My worship is an alignment with Him, a working with the Deity, not standing below Him. I seek enlightenment. I seek strength. I seek self-evolution,  and I seek empowerment. So who better to respect as a teacher? Who better to apprentice with? Who better to turn to as my guide while navigating the abyss? He is like the Virgil to my Dante, and I will not deny that I do indeed worship the Devil.

V0025816 Satan sits on his throne at the centre of a witches' sabbath
Satan sits on his throne at the centre of a witches’ sabbath Credit: Welcome Library, London.

A Mythicist and a Theist

The term “mythicist” was a new one for me. I came across it a few weeks ago while listening to an episode of Aeon Byte Gnostic Radio on YouTube (though, for the life of me, I can’t remember which episode exactly). The term apparently applies to the Christ Myth Theory, which holds that there is no proof of a historical Jesus, and even if there were by chance a historical Jesus, he would have little to do with the archetype he became, and even less so with the church that spawned. It is often now extended and used as a term for those who view all supernatural aspects of the worlds various religions as pure mythology.

I feel that I should be acquainted with the Judeo-Christian stories out of necessity so this is the exact approach I take when looking into them. And even to take it that one step further; I also think it is a healthy approach to take when looking into any mythology or belief system. When we start off by seeing these archetypes as flesh and blood we run the risk of becoming almost dogmatic in our perceptions of them. Or, even worse, we run the risk of projecting our own human baggage onto them. When first delving into a new mythology I find that viewing things with the widest lens possible tends to help me avoid putting these Archetypes into boxes which often limit their potential, at least magickally speaking.

But at the same time, I am a theistic practitioner. This puts me in a different boat than most mythicists because I do not believe that the supernatural (or maybe more appropriately supra-natural) is impossible. I hold the opinion that the essence we know as Satan or Lucifer (or any of the endless names that have been used) is very real and can be tangible in various ways through practice.

I see no issue with holding both views at once because I do not believe any single culture, text, or belief system holds the “truth” (if such a thing even exists). The Deity I venerate is, in my opinion, something vast, chaotic, and primordial, which could not possibly be known in It’s entirety by any one person, coven, or church. Similar to how no single person in my life sees all aspects of me. Who I appear to be to my mother is not the same person I appear to be to my significant other. Who I appear to be to my significant other is not who I appear to be to my coworkers, etc. And if for some reason you wanted to understand me by asking these individuals to define me, you would get very different descriptions of who I am as a person. All of these descriptions would show aspects of me, but none of them would properly define me as a whole. This, I think is what happens when we try and understand our Deities and Archetypes by taking the literal word of the myths. Each myth is just a snapshot frozen in a specific time and culture, and is then further eroded by translation, politics, and unfortunately even literal erosion.

I was told  a short while back that “God is man writ large, and man is God writ small”. (The capital G here is denoting the concept of Deity, rather than a specific god.) If this holds true, and I am of the opinion that it may, then I’d say the myths and their subsequent religions can define Deities only as well as a coworker or an ex might be able to define you or I. So I think the myths themselves actually hold very little weight. But, they can certainly form a foundation for our understanding, especially when viewed comparatively.

156 – Babalon and the Beast


I’m not a poet by any means, but sometimes I find it easiest to get my thoughts and theories out onto paper in a poetic format, free formed and all. (Edited: 8.24.17)



Daughter of Fortitude

And bride of Chaos

You are indeed a living flame

The blackened embers

Ever burning in His eyes


Lawless blood is the pulse of His machine

This war engine which was promised

Now reaches forth in all directions

As a spiders web

In clear echo of She

Who inspires Him


As Inanna on Her ascent

She comes forth

And Hell comes with Her

We are many tribes under one banner:


And we are Legion


John’s revelation

Was not of the worlds end,

But of our return

We are the wild hunting party of the dead

The many-headed Hydra

Born of shining blood

As it was declared:

Your time is NOW!

Our time is NOW!


As Man and Lady

As Whore and Devil

As God and Goddess

You both preside over this frenzied Sabbath

Of witches and warriors

Of all who spat in the face of the tyrannical archon

And his poisonous church


As Esther have I been

Heeding the secret words of Marduk

To wrap the noose of my King

Around the traitorous neck of Haman

And so as Salome you dance

Those mysterious seven veils

To harvest the head of the Baptist

With Qalmana’s holy sickle


This is indeed a new Aeon

And we,

The Crowned and Conquering children

Are lighting the path as Lucifer’s

With the flames of wicker men burning

Parallels between Azazel and Cain


Sigil of Azazel

Though I have never previously worked with him, Azazel has been on my mind lately. I’ve even begun to invite him into my practice a little here and there so I have been going back through the textual sources of him to try and gain a better understanding. He is broad and varied, and could take up multiple posts to really analyze, but one thing that stuck out to me is a parallel I see between Azazel in the Day of Atonement ritual of Judaism, outlined in Leviticus 16, and Cain’s tale in Genesis 4.

To quickly paraphrase Leviticus, there are two goats brought forth. Lots are cast so that one goat is for “god” (YHWH/Jehova) and the other is for Azazel. The goat for YHWH is killed as a sacrifice, whereas the goat for Azazel survives. The priest places all the blame of the communities’ sins onto it, making it a literal scapegoat, then it is lead into the wilderness and released.

Azazel – Dictionnaire Infernal (Paris,1825).

This calls to mind Cain, who was marked and cast off to wander the wilderness east of Eden. In this tale, Abel is beloved of the Hebrew god, he is the favored son as it were, and he is slain by his brother. When this transgression is discovered, YHWH does not kill Cain, but rather marks him so that none shall kill him, and then sends Cain away bearing his sin. It is almost as if Abel is filling the shoes of the goat for YHWH and Cain is filling the shoes (hooves?) of the goat for Azazel.

Cain and Abel – Tintoretto

I don’t see any direct connections between these two characters though. Cain and Abel are hardly the first tale of feuding brothers, and purely a mythical story, whereas the Day of Atonement is still a literal holiday in modern Judaism. From a Left Hand Path perspective, the archetypes of Cain and Azazel embody similar traits however.

In Islamic mythology Azazel (Iblis) is a djinn. He is first born of smokeless fire, and is the one called Shaytan/Shaitan/Satan; the one who refused gods command to bow to Adam. Whether he is a scapegoat or djinn, Azazel seems to have no problem standing his ground in contrast with god. And it’s this trait which I also see echoed in Cain’s tale. When confronted by god regarding Abel’s disappearance he spits back “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Both Azazel and Cain seem to represent strength, independence, and opposition to the ways of the Judeo “god” and so I’m finding both to be potent archetypes of the very essence of Satanism.

Diabolus in Music(k)a

Symbolism utilized by the Polish band Behemoth
Symbolism utilized by the Polish band Behemoth

I originally wrote this for a forum I am a member of, but have reworked it for posting here as well. The original term “Diabolus in Musica”  meaning “the Devil in Music” refers to the Tritone, the augmented fourth of music theory and was dubbed as such by the Church during the middle ages.

When I was young, I was raised in a very strict Christian household. I had friends refer to my mother as the mom from the movie Carrie and they were only half joking. When my parents finally divorced my mother dove head first into the church and overnight anything that was not “church approved” was not allowed in our home. Books, movies, music, anything you can think of, if it wasn’t “Christian” or if it contradicted anything her current pastor was preaching, it would be broken, burned, or tossed out. I was thirteen when this change occurred in my home, and I don’t know if you’ve ever tried telling a thirteen year old girl what to think but needless to say, it was not a smooth transition.

Regardless, I was a musician, music was and is my passion. I play flute primarily, but am proficient on every instrument other than the guitar (I just cannot make sense of that thing). So I used music as an outlet. Friends would burn me CD’s from bands like Slayer, Cradle of Filth, and Deicide, and we would label them with the names of pop bands. I believe CoF’s Midian was labeled as a Backsteet Boys album for example so that when my room was searched it wouldn’t get tossed. There was no privacy at home, everything we had was searched at least once a week and eventually once a day. My mother’s church believed very much in “spiritual warfare” and that objects and subjects could bring spirits or demons into a persons life. She suffered quite a bit  at the hands of my father, we all did, and so I think it was fear that drove how strict our home became.

It was a little before this age, in middle school that I started getting pulled toward the occult. I had a met a boy during a summer music program, and his mother who was the first Wiccan I had ever met gave him a copy of Raising Hell: A Concise History of the Black Arts – and Those Who Dared to Practice Them, to give me. She said I might enjoy it. And she was right. It was found and burned eventually. I was severely punished. Allowed nowhere but school and church. But despite all that I am still glad she thought to pass the book onto me. It is not the most in depth or accurate, clearly not written from a practitioner, and fairly cheesy at some points, but for a kid who knew nothing, it was a pretty good introduction so it seems worth the mention.

By the second half of high school, I was a half-assed practitioner of sorts. A few friends and I had a small working group, and kept a book of notes that we passed back and forth to track everything that seemed important. For my 18th birthday one of them got me a copy of CoF’s Nymphetamine. I had never had the lyric booklets before for any of these bands, and we did not have internet. I fell in love with the lyrical style. It weaved myth and reality in and out in a way I had not realized. I found myself reading them over and over, scouring them as if they were a mini grimoire, and in all honesty, they sort of were. I had always been a fan of literature and adored dissecting the symbolism in poetry so every time I read them another few dots fell into place. At the time though, I thought I was just being rather silly.

In college, the world of metal really opened up to me. I was dating a man who was a fan of Venom and the first wave black metal bands. The first time I went home with him, the album Welcome to Hell was hanging on the wall overhead.


This was the door to everything, but at the time I detested those bands. I felt that music was an Art and that taking occult philosophies and purposefully making them cheesy for the mainstream was one of the lowest and most disrespectful things an artist could do. I have since changed my mind on that obviously. I was majoring in musical performance at the time. Taking theory courses, private lessons, and learning to conduct as well as play. I met an acquaintance who was very eager to get me into some new music, from him I found Amon Amarth, Gorgoroth, and a few other bands who also had pieces to share. This was also the time that I was able to begin researching the occult “legitimately”. And I use that phrase very lightly, but we had a bookstore across from campus and I had internet at last, so it was a start.

A few years later I came across Behemoth who has since become a beloved inspiration to me. For years I assumed that any dots I connected via music were just an illusion, that there was “real” info out there, I just had to find it. In fact I still believed this when I first started this blog. It was only after studying some of these philosophies more in depth that I could start to see the legitimacy of the lyrical content. I remember my head snapping to the side and exclaiming “what the fuck did they just say?!” when I heard the Behemoth lyric “think of me not as one, think of me not as none, think of me not at all, for I am continual” for the first time. I had assumed most metal bands were just putting on a show until that point.
Recently this world has cracked wide open with my discovery of bands such as Dissection and Watain who I adore as well, as I quite literally have integrated bits of their work into mine. It was with these two bands that I discovered the cross over between aspects of the metal world and the occult, were in fact, not all in my head.

A picture of my more recent simple altar set up utilizing the open pentagram concept from ToBL. Clearly, I'm not an artist, but you get the point.
A picture of my more recent simple altar set up utilizing the open pentagram concept from ToBL. Clearly, I’m not an artist, but you get the point.

I write this because I owe each and every one of these bands (as well as many more who are not yet named and are not limited to the metal genre) my utmost respect. When I was in the dark world of Christians, they showed me the light of what would become my own individual path. I thought it was just an outlet, loud music to let out a bit of anger. I thought it was just a release, and it very much was a release, but I see now that it was so much more. Without the march of their blast beats I would not have the pieces I have today, and I would not have been able to escape the traps I had unknowingly walked into once I found the supposedly “real” occult material I had always been looking for. I didn’t need to search so passionately, their voices were calling the whole time. And I want to thank them with all my heart.

A call to the left hand (personal opinion)


Hello all,

Forgive me for the delay, I have been plagued with real life issues lately. But I am back and do not intend to stay away that long again. Today’s blog will be a bit different. In a moment of clarity an old essay that I wrote popped into my mind. I reread it and spruced it up a bit and realized that it would fit very nicely here.


In today’s modern world, I, like many others assume that life revolves around work, bills and when the time is available, family and friends. From the bustling people I see around me, this is the conclusion I have drawn. But still, in this age of less time, but more technology and education there are social and cultural wars being fought around us daily. And I don’t mean the big wars in the Middle East or the gang wars in the large cities. I mean the stigma wars that take place in so called religious societies. In the eighties this country had a shameful and childish “Satanic scare” that was a media circus version of the Salem witch trials. And now in the new millennia there are conspiracy theories infiltrating the minds of the general population. Some are silly and laughable but some have lead normal suburban type people to hatred and violence.

Those who consider themselves Right Hand Path followers have the luxury of a bigoted point of view. They are surrounded by a like-minded culture where they can pick and choose who they decide to treat as a peer. Not to say in any way that everyone who follows the right hand path is bigoted, that would be an unfair generalization that I in no way intend to make. There are many who are educated, civil and loving people who feel that is the path they belong on, and I salute them for being shining examples of humanity. But they are all too often surrounded by people who are uneducated and far from civil and who feel nothing but fear and hatred. These people have become far too abundant. Their strength lies in their numbers not in their message.

Now my opinion may be biased, but, as a solitary follower of the Left Hand Path I do not have the option of only associating with those who share my views. And I think this is a good thing, I think that such isolation would lead to closed minded thinking, it would cause a halt to my personal evolution and it would make it far too easy to view “outsiders” as enemies or as something to be fearful of. Rather, I think it is better to immerse myself in a culture of multiple viewpoints. Not only does it give me opportunities to learn and experience another way of viewing the world but it allows me to see my own belief system through different perspectives. Doing so keeps me honest. It builds my personal faith; it does not destroy or weaken it. I do not fear that understanding another person’s idea of god is going to weaken my faith in my own, but rather it helps me to see my gods and my faith as a whole in a way that I may not have looked at it otherwise.

To be fearful of another belief or of another’s god would mean that I believed there was a weakness in my faith, or a weakness in my god that would give them access and allow them to “lead me astray”. What these bigoted right hand path followers don’t understand is that their actions show that their personal faith is weak. They believe that they as humans need to protect their “omnipotent” god from outside ideas that could weaken and destroy him. It is as if they don’t even realize that they are disrespecting their god more than any outsider ever could.

I believe Lucifer is strong, I believe he was born out of chaos and that his adversarial ways give him an inner strength that he wouldn’t have had he the option of sitting back and basking in the worship of his followers. I know that living my life as a quiet adversary to the culture around me has made me a better person. It has made me look at my morals from every angle. It has allowed me to play devil’s advocate with my faith (excuse the awful pun). Through doing so, I have found my personal weaknesses and have had no choice but to rectify them. Those of the Right Hand Path have condemned themselves to a culture where they are never questioned. When questioning stops, learning stops, evolution stops and humanities advancement is utterly halted. People become compliant and fearful of losing their comfortable place in the safe center of the social ladder, where all of their misunderstood regurgitated words allow them to be accepted within a culture of spiritual stagnation. But acceptance is acceptance I suppose.

Now, though I am thankful that I do not have the option of becoming stalled and compliant it does not mean that ignorant violence is to be tolerated under any circumstances. This stagnated culture wants a shock; it wants the adrenaline rush that it’s primal instincts need and it will create monsters to fight even when such monsters do not exist. Now those of us who stand as adversaries know that we are possible candidates to become their new monsters. In their minds we are far more fearful than ever logically possible. Some of the Left Hand Path relishes this position, but all of us must understand that such misunderstood thinking is infectious. The more we hear of small random acts of violence the more we must come to realize that there is a chance, always a chance of organized violence against those of us who choose to walk another path. Such behavior calls to mind images of the stake.

As much as many on the left hand path may enjoy playing the part of the adversary, it is essential to know when and where to allow such behavior to take over your personality. Do not fall victim to the mistakes that many make in allowing themselves to become aloof or to feel invincible. Be yourself while also being members of society on some level. I say this as a plea to all on the left hand path, I do not wish to see anyone victimized by hatred or misunderstanding. I in no way mean back down or hide your beliefs. Stand for them until the end. My intent is to say that you must on occasion field the questions of those on the right hand path; do not play mind games, answer them honestly. For everyone on this path who has said some idiotic comment to terrify an already frightened mind, another of our path has likely been persecuted.

We as followers of the left hand path will never be fully understood by the mass population, and we would have it no other way, but, we can save ourselves and others from unnecessary violence if we make an attempt to be educated and civil. Many of this path know this already and to them I owe my gratitude, but there are, unfortunately, many more who feel that it is necessary to play the part and speak theatrically to the “sheep” they see around them. They think that it is a way of rebelling; an amusing game. But, it drags everyone’s name down. It gives fuel to the fires of such intolerant bigotry. I do not respect the sheep mentality but I understand that we on the left hand path must choose our individual battles while still respecting the others of our path, even if we have never met them.


This quote by Aleister Crowley can be found in “The Book of the Law”, and is a main tenant of his belief system; Thelema.

Thank you all for stopping by again =) As always, comments and feedback are most welcome!